Cheryl JMost Hated Bands
Brainstorming last night, I came up with a definitive list of several bands which I have taken a stance resembling that of Kim Jong Ill to the free people of the world! I hate these bands with a passion never seen in any other than Helen Coonan discussing media reforms, and I am here to slander their image in a hope that I get my 15 minutes of fame when they sue me for defamation.
And so, without further ado, my dear two readers, I give you...
#5 Most Disliked Band - U2
Why U2 you ask? There is a simple reason. No, not a name, for I have my doubts any sane, sober mother would call their child this. Bono. Who in gods kingdom names their child after the worse half of Sonny & Cher. For gods sake woman, do you not think ahead! Bono is an annoying, pontificating (use of word: 1 000 000 points) asshole (use of word: -1 000 000 points) who parades about trying to save the planet.
I hate people who try and help people. Die.
U2's music is also the most unchallenging thing written since Meat Loaf decided to go for number three. They have duped the world into buying each and every single album when they each song sounds exactly the same. Bono: "Hey Edge (yes, wtf is that), let's release the same song with a different name! And then save some children! YAY!" No.
#4 Most Disliked Band - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Flea.
#3 Most Disliked Band - Nirvana
Yes, even more controversial a choice, for I Kylar am not one to shy away from the spotlight (what spotlight?), their lyrics reach a nirvana (mind the pun), a level of genius unsurpassed by anything, ever. I thought to enlighten you and share these truly enlightened skills with you:
Smells Like Teen Spirit:
Hello [x16] (Real work of genius, an avant-garde masterpiece, someone call YOKO!)
A mulatto / An albino / A mosquito / My libido / Yea (that speaks for itself)
Rape Me
Rape Me [x17] (this has broken the dizzying heights of perfection, go Kurt, go!)
Hate me (well if you insist)
They also completely destroyed the glorious work of David Bowie's The Man Who Sold The World, and for that, I sentence them to the bottom (bar 2) of my pile.
#2 Most Disliked Band - Green Day
Do I really need to give a reason? They cashed in on Bush to sell their crappy little album and return to the mainstream. Do they have any credibility? NO. Are they repetitive and useless? YES. Dear sir's, you are, like what, 40? It's time for you to retire to a nice round of drinks at the white house and a career 're-interpreting' oldies.
#1 Most Disliked Band - PANIC! At The Disco
Where do I start? First, the grammar is completely infuriating in the title. You CANNOT have random exclamation! marks! sprinkled! around! because! you! look! like! a! tool! Why is there capitalisation on the word panic? Are you dyslexic and/or in any other way retarded?
Their attempt at being somewhat intelligent fails "sense of poise and rationality" is only repeated like 100 times. Do you even know what that means? I doubt it. There are about 2 verses in that entire song, and the rest is made up of repeating the same things over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over...
I Write Sins Not Tragedies, I think not: You Write Crap Not Music, yes.
The End.
And so, without further ado, my dear two readers, I give you...
#5 Most Disliked Band - U2
Why U2 you ask? There is a simple reason. No, not a name, for I have my doubts any sane, sober mother would call their child this. Bono. Who in gods kingdom names their child after the worse half of Sonny & Cher. For gods sake woman, do you not think ahead! Bono is an annoying, pontificating (use of word: 1 000 000 points) asshole (use of word: -1 000 000 points) who parades about trying to save the planet.
I hate people who try and help people. Die.
U2's music is also the most unchallenging thing written since Meat Loaf decided to go for number three. They have duped the world into buying each and every single album when they each song sounds exactly the same. Bono: "Hey Edge (yes, wtf is that), let's release the same song with a different name! And then save some children! YAY!" No.
#4 Most Disliked Band - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Flea.
#3 Most Disliked Band - Nirvana
Yes, even more controversial a choice, for I Kylar am not one to shy away from the spotlight (what spotlight?), their lyrics reach a nirvana (mind the pun), a level of genius unsurpassed by anything, ever. I thought to enlighten you and share these truly enlightened skills with you:
Smells Like Teen Spirit:
Hello [x16] (Real work of genius, an avant-garde masterpiece, someone call YOKO!)
A mulatto / An albino / A mosquito / My libido / Yea (that speaks for itself)
Rape Me
Rape Me [x17] (this has broken the dizzying heights of perfection, go Kurt, go!)
Hate me (well if you insist)
They also completely destroyed the glorious work of David Bowie's The Man Who Sold The World, and for that, I sentence them to the bottom (bar 2) of my pile.
#2 Most Disliked Band - Green Day
Do I really need to give a reason? They cashed in on Bush to sell their crappy little album and return to the mainstream. Do they have any credibility? NO. Are they repetitive and useless? YES. Dear sir's, you are, like what, 40? It's time for you to retire to a nice round of drinks at the white house and a career 're-interpreting' oldies.
#1 Most Disliked Band - PANIC! At The Disco
Where do I start? First, the grammar is completely infuriating in the title. You CANNOT have random exclamation! marks! sprinkled! around! because! you! look! like! a! tool! Why is there capitalisation on the word panic? Are you dyslexic and/or in any other way retarded?
Their attempt at being somewhat intelligent fails "sense of poise and rationality" is only repeated like 100 times. Do you even know what that means? I doubt it. There are about 2 verses in that entire song, and the rest is made up of repeating the same things over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over...
I Write Sins Not Tragedies, I think not: You Write Crap Not Music, yes.
The End.
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