Cheryl JBest chain letter ever - for those who despise email chain letters
Hello, my name is (insert name here) and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000?
How stupid are we?
"Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!"
What a bunch of bullshit.
Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by Peter in 5 AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower.
Fuck 'em.
If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times.
I don't fucking care.
Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's your own unpopularity.
The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on.
Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the ass of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.
Now forward this to everyone you know.
Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.
Have a nice day.
PS. Send me 50 bucks...
Image by irishblogs
Footnote: No I didn't come up with this chain letter myself but I wish I had. I'd like to shake the hand of the man who did write it though.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000?
How stupid are we?
"Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!"
What a bunch of bullshit.
Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by Peter in 5 AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower.
Fuck 'em.
If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times.
I don't fucking care.
Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's your own unpopularity.
The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on.
Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the ass of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.
Now forward this to everyone you know.
Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.
Have a nice day.
PS. Send me 50 bucks...
Image by irishblogs
Footnote: No I didn't come up with this chain letter myself but I wish I had. I'd like to shake the hand of the man who did write it though.
Deep Pencil
Current Business News
Movie Train
Artist Quirk
Funny Videos
Rhythmatism
Zentertainment
Budget Centsability
Deep Pencil
Current Business News
Movie Train
Artist Quirk
thats ridiculous!
here i am trying to give karma and someones stealing it!
outrageous!
i just voted on a couple of other things to test it and they have gone up 10 points . . . im very confused
Funny Videos
Rhythmatism
Zentertainment
Budget Centsability
Deep Pencil
Current Business News
Movie Train
Artist Quirk
maybe theres some delay between me and you???
OUTRAGEOUS!!!!!
Flick Wit
Love the post, hilarious - how I hate those chain emails! Remember back when you used to get them in the actual post? Toxic things.
Michaelie
Flick Wit
What is going on??
Funny Videos
Rhythmatism
Zentertainment
Budget Centsability
You'll love this then...I got one in the actual snail mail a month ago. It had 5 cents attached to it and I was supposed to send $10 to the person at the top of the list, and move the names up so we could all become fabulously wealthy. I hadn't seen one since I was a kid!
Flick Wit
The last time I received one myself in the post I think I was about ten, and it said my family would perish in an epidemic if I didn't send it on. It was hideous! Mum made me burn it but it instilled a deep sense of fear in me. Before that, I had only received the ones saying I was guaranteed happiness if I sent them on. Mum made me burn those too. Lol. So it's her fault if I end up a miserable old cow devoid of kith and kin!
Definitely PM Jon and let him know.
Deep Pencil
Current Business News
Movie Train
Artist Quirk
Funny Videos
Rhythmatism
Zentertainment
Budget Centsability
Oh well, my chain letter will die a quick death due to lack of voting numbers...at least it will be painless
Stock Market Punk
Funny Videos
Rhythmatism
Zentertainment
Budget Centsability
As you can see from the comments above we've had a bit of a glitch with numbers on this post so it's hard to tell if some votes are counting and some not but we shall see. Yours have definitely helped
Love Mate
Parents Precinct
The Travel Map
My Turn
Great post. I agree totally I never pass on any of those emails. The ones I especially hate are those never forget your female friends, blah blah pass this on to 10 women that have had a positive impact in your life including the person who sent it to you. If you get it back you know you are a good friend. What a load of sap.
Love Mate
Parents Precinct
The Travel Map
My Turn
Funny Videos
Rhythmatism
Zentertainment
Budget Centsability
Thanks for your vote!
Small Thoughts on Big Questions
Funny Videos
Rhythmatism
Zentertainment
Budget Centsability
unlucky_ fishermen.com
Angling Fish
Music Zone
Thought Zone
hey, that no karma points thing has happened a couple of times on my blog also. probably just a glitch.
Jack's Back
Funny Videos
Rhythmatism
Zentertainment
Budget Centsability
Hi Ruby, maybe we should tell Bryn there's a new horror flick out there, I wonder what name we could give it? Everything that springs to my mind sounds more like porn haha. I'm not too worried about the karma points, like everything to do with technology there are hiccups sometimes.
Hi Johnny, yep it will pop into your head at the most inopportune moments now...like in the middle of a big meeting.
Parenting Issues
NO OFFENSE!
Famous Country
Funny Videos
Rhythmatism
Zentertainment
Budget Centsability
Thanks Susan, I'm glad you liked it. Now if only everyone would get how annoying they are and stop sending them....but then what would I make fun of haha
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
This is one of the funniest damn posts I have read. I felt this one! Wonderful!
Mis